Divine Serenity

2009-04-08T01:23:00.001+08:00

I have Moved!

2009-03-27T04:38:00.000+08:00

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

2009-01-20T01:31:00.001+08:00

In love with this song now. It's one of the MV's for Naruto.

Yura Yura!

2008-12-08T00:45:00.004+08:00

Click to enlarge

A photo I got from Zhiyi from our childcare days. I remember we took this right after our soccer tournament, and it's so funny cause, we were all so smiley smiley even though we lost the match!

Haha. It's really amazing to see how how this photo has translated over time, and now, two of us are just running the race together. I know the rest of them will eventually run like us, having the same destination in mind, with the same vision. And running with that same conviction.

I know, I just do.

-D

2008-10-19T03:07:00.003+08:00

I've made a new blog skin. It's an attempt to revive my dead blog. Somehow it's working, because I'm posting something now! Haha. And yes, I know it's much simpler than the previous one, but at least it speaks much more. Haha.

Wow Sam is flying off tomorow. Honestly as I was writing her card, I felt such a need to know my leader more. To flow more. To catch the impartion. It's the same as when Ivan left for army. Seeing Hannah running so closely is such an inspiration. How do you be there at the right place and time to learn?

I feel that within the last 3 weeks, I feel many dimensions and spaces being added into my life. From CG's discipleships to Post Production discipleships. Learning to apply what I've learned from these to other situations. How setting cultures is so living and real, and it's not just within a CG thing but as your life, it affects how people think and act.

I think this is an area of growth too for me during this season. To not set a culture, but to live a life. It'd be hard if we actively set a culture. It's not if that culture is a part of our life.

On a sidenote, Nick Vujicic is coming, and I can't wait to ask Dad for that! I think it'll really blow his mind away no matter what he thinks man. The key is just getting him to HEAR Nick himself. Haha.

Faithfulness & Excellence,
Darren

2008-10-04T02:15:00.003+08:00

Ties That Bond

Haha. Did this on Photoshop with the inspiration bubble during CG today.

What difference would the church be from the world if we still gossip against one another in church.

We're a team thats back to back, taking cover for each other. Team spirit. Unity. Family.
We never speak without thinking or purpose, because we know how much death we can deal to a person with our mouth.

I totally agree with what Sam shared. If our new friends comes to church and adopts that culture just because we have set it, I rather they not come to church at all.

Let's really keep that spirit of love. Keep the doors closed on gossips and complains.

~ D.

2008-09-25T03:52:00.002+08:00

Woosh. It's really been busy busy with life.

I think I've learnt alot of things in Post Pro during the recent projects. Haha. It's really being back on the cutting iron. I liked the progress in my video. It's finally a breakthrough and I can see the difference in it visually. Hahs. There's more to come with Ministry Highlights =)

I really need to get the discipline there for school. Homework stacking up is such scary stuff. I think I need to find my joy in drawing again. It's in me somewhere. Lol. I've recently been trying to trace Dragonball characters, and wanting to practice how they are drawn. Akiya Toriyama really has a distinct way of drawing. You can tell them apart from other manga characters.

Oh. And I'm officially a 4 hour old 18 year old (that sounds confusing lol). Mehs. Army in 3 years. That's really fast. Haha. At least I'm going in with BX and Zee ^^. I miss Nelson & Ivan. Even though these two weeks passed really quickly, weekends without them just feels like something is missing. Haha. It's okay. They're coming out by next week!! Haha.

I've really got to connect to Sam and Hannah and TingWei more. Our CG must really breakthrough. We're gonna get at least 10 solid regulars by the end of this year. Our CG's gonna get connected and have so much dynamics, getting people planted would be just as easy as it was in the past.

I Am A Samuel.

2008-09-11T01:09:00.002+08:00

Woosh. I'll just accept the fact that this is how often I can get myself to blog. Haha.

It's been a month over at Lasalle now. And wow, it was really a month of knowing myself better.

I never knew I had that ability to draw decently (like a picture that resembles at least 70% of what I'm trying to draw). To be honest, I had the shock of my life when I saw how I managed to draw things in real life. It's definitely not like Boxue's standard, but wow. I'm just amazed! Praying for that has certainly gone a long way :)

Looking at things, sensitivity. I feel as if I was born to be in arts! It's just so...me! I love finding out the reason why certain art pieces were made, why a certain action was done. I really wondered what stoppped me from taking Arts as my elective then when I was in Sec 3. Was super blur in class then and half the time I didnt catch the instructions from my art teacher just cause I was daydreaming. Lol.

I also realise something different from the way I doodled in the past compared to now. I had no source of inspiration. No reason to draw. But now, I draw for Him. God has really been an inspiration and a source of creativity for me since recently. I don't know how to explain this but, you'll get what I mean when you have something more than marks and datelines to draw for. Something much deeper beyond your interest or workload.

The difference is like, singing a song in KTV compared to singing a love song to your special one. It's like cooking a meal for yourself, compared to preparing a meal for your loved ones.

I love my life. Do you? =)

2008-08-31T03:28:00.000+08:00

Haha. Okays sorry for the lack of updates. I've really been busy with school work. Wish that I could just zap it with something and tadah! It's done! Haha.

Today has just been so mind blowing. Food for thought

Roles and Purpose.
What are our roles in society? What about our purpose?
How do we find the purpose of something?

I guess to do so, we got to know what's in the mind of the maker of the object. Have you tried asking a phone what is it's purpose? No, I'll rather ask the company or the designer of the phone what are it's purpose and functions.

Basically just sharing a small bit what I learnt today from Pastor Tan. Haha. Doesn't it intrigue your mind with questions like "What's our purpose in life?"

I find it quite funny that smart people can be atheist, because how the intricate things in our world can work so seamlessly with each other never fails to puzzle me. From something as simple as gravity, to the logic of how water can evaporate and go back into the ocean in a cycle. Things don't just happen for a reason and stay that way.

Have you ever made something extraordinary when you simply slap a few piece of cardboard paper together?
Would have been a different story if you put some thought into planning out the design and function of the final object.
--

2008-08-11T21:35:00.002+08:00

Last week was simply AWESOME.

I know that statement is overused for my entries, but hey, who are you to say it's not! Haha.

God has just been been amazing. I love my God. I love Jesus.

I didn't want to post last week amidst the busy weekdays because I wanted so much for my post to be about church after this hectic week.

And wow. Staff Prayer Meeting has just been amazing, I feel my spiritual man building up as I prayed. Praying fervently for my school, my family, our cg. Last week was just prayer upon prayer, and smooth cruising all over.

Service was great too. Tune in to the right radio station man! Haha. It's just so important to connect right back to God, and to be sure it's in the right channel and not some other wrong channel.

--

Chris came for service. It's simply amazing. I'm praying fervantly for B4 to grow to 10 by the end of September. I think it is important for us to feel the burden to grow our CG, to get seeds planted even as we lead our own lives. To be God conscious. Wow.
Yea..

Pastor Lia met me and talked to me! Haha. Was supposed to meet them the week before but had FOP and many stuffs. I really appreciate Pastors for taking time off their busy schedules, even if its just to say a simple hi. Of course, Pastor Lia did more than say hi haha. But yea, I'm super excited on what's to come for Lasalle. Pastor Lia realised that there was quite a few of us in Lasalle, and she said the movement to take the arts for Christ will start from there.

Yea..we will rock Lasalle hard and get a harvest there!

--

Lasalle assignments, are , really such a heck load haha. It's so much to do. Oh wells, kind of expected that already. WE have to take 80 photographs by this Thursday. Can you believe that? =/

Haha. Generally I love the homework, it's just that the amount of workload and short dateline really kills the joy of doing it.

I'll end off with a photo for one of my assignments.

"Stalker?": BX

2008-08-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

FOP last night was awesome. I especially loved Hosanna..was Brooke Fraser singing last night? I still don't know. But I love her in that song. Haha. It really sounds annointed and a heart that's bent on worshipping God.

Chris came for FOP! I'm quite surprised he wanted to come even though he had his international students tour by Lasalle. Glad that he enjoyed himself. We should go eat prata sometime x)

Today's our graduation day from BMT(A)! Wow. It certainly felt great after recieving my cert. But more than that, it was exciting to hear the story of the 9 Stones and Pastor's sacrifices again. Hearing it then last year, it was just a touching story. But this time, you just get the rush to run with the church. Like a son.

We don't ever switch our families, never. Yeaa. =)

Was just helping cafe deliver a coffee to Yassy, and she started asking about me. Haha. She's really a joy to be with. I remembered our first few encounters when I was doing Cat High's School Feature video last year. She was just encouraging me at that time because it was the really my first big video then, and Pastor was suppose to see it the day before.
And then she was asking about my aunt. Then she said something really amusing.
"Ahh. don't think the 4 Brains don't know ok!". I was like. Wow...lol. Never expected her to mention herself in that way haha. She's cool. =)

Can't wait for CG and FOP tomorrow (and really, school on monday too)!

RUNNN!!

2008-08-01T15:38:00.002+08:00

Ritz Carlton photos are up!

Will update more when I'm back from FOP! =)

2008-07-28T23:57:00.002+08:00

This is our lovely Kodak Crew whom I've been working with for the past 3 months. Wouldn't have survived a week there if not for them. Haha.

Work's ending. And I'm really surprised at the end of it, because I entertained a thought of working back here when I really have free time. It has never happened before since the many times I've worked in this office (albeit with different people).

I guess it's just something clicked inside me and there's something changed. Instead of dragging myself to work, I take it as a great chance to know more people, to build a stronger relationship with my aunt.

Schools in 3 days. Can I tell you, I CANNOT WAIT!!
Haha. Me and BX have this crazy idea of persuading future orientation mates to join us at a "big event" in the Indoor Stadium rather than attend orientation on Friday. Haha. It's just crazy..

By the way, finally got the bag I wanted! It's a zinc bag I wanted since I was Sec 4, and yea, it's finally MINE! I so love it. God blessed me with another $50 dollars yesterday. I don't think I'll spend it soon. Haha.

Love my life. Do you? =)

2008-07-23T07:49:00.001+08:00

Good morning city!
It's time to work.
Let's rooock the world!! ^^

2008-07-22T11:39:00.006+08:00

Some things are not meant to be bottled up, so I must confess! I'd really love to watch Dark Knight soon!! You should too!!!

Schools starts in a weeks time. I'm expecting hectic projects and assignments. I'm not just going to survive it, but attack it!

Pastor Phil says when we tell God we are ready for anything, He certainly has very nice trials called "anything" for us. Progress or regress. Move or fall behind. Conquer or be beaten down.

I don't see anything the "or"s, nor what's beyond it. There's only one option.

Forward.

2008-07-19T02:13:00.002+08:00

"i'm carried in, everlasting arms
you never let me go, through it all.."

--

Church Builders service just spoke into my heart. It's time to kick off the slacky attitude, and up my spiritual life. No more leaning back, but poised and ready to move.

It's time to run again!

2008-07-12T02:55:00.009+08:00

Tag Replies:
Darryl: haha, thanks. Yours too, you changed again! Haha.
Naomi: Haha sure man.
Mel: Lol! Mannequin with gold hair =x. You can tell him that.
Carlotta: Thanks =)
Kenneth: Haha yea. Jiayou for your N's!!

I'm just so hooked on One Republic now. I considering listening to more of their songs now. Haha.

I feel such a want to take a good rest, and asked for leave in the morning.

So, went to catch Hancock with Bx, Zhiyi, Fe and Liling in the afternoon. Was a pretty good show with that twist in the end. Loved how he found hope in himself, and used his abilities for the good of others, but that wasn't any much depth in his character until the twist came along. Haha.

And..then went to Bugis with Bx to meet up with Nelson, Kenneth and Keith. It's the first time since a long time I really shopping. Haha. I seriously need a wardrobe makeover man (maybe more of wardrobe addons?) Haha. Saw this really nice brown tee with nice motifs for a decent $20. Fits my budget, I guess, and it's designed by someone in CHC and knows Pastors too. What are the chances man. Haha.

Had a good time looking around, though it was more of for Bx's belt and my shirt, since Nelson and gang already bought their stuff. Kenneth got this really cool looking tee from the same shop. We went over to Far East later, because Bx's belt just refused to show up in Bugis. Haha. Zhiyi joined us later, and we had dinner at Subs.

Just love my life!

Had an very powerful revelation today about Hellboy's two stuffed thingies on his head. It's actually horns cut off. And I thought they were sponges/muffins. Bet you didn't know that xD

Nights~

2008-06-23T01:07:00.004+08:00

Wow! The skin is finally done.
Boxue is featured again. Haha. I think he will be my official model for blogskins. Lol.
He's really generous to the camera, and lets us capture the moments easily into a photograph.

Life now is just starting to turn even better. Hammering the steel, here we go! This is laying down everything and preparing myself for the grand finale right after. I think some of you are lost, Boxue and Zhiyi should know. Haha.

In a few months time, it's time to enter in Lasalle. New grounds to be taken. New devils to conquer. Same new vision.

It's time to make history.

2008-06-20T00:01:00.003+08:00

Yes. It's a change of blogskin! But its quite last min so I dont have time to edit it.

No I'm not emo! No reminisce of the past! It's just the way the template is written. I'll change it tmr!

Haha. Till then!

2008-06-06T02:00:00.003+08:00

Song of the Season: On Fire - Switchfoot

Haha.

Wow. It's already June! Haha. May passed on so quickly with the packed schedule, it barely registered on my mind! Powerful sermons after sermons. Revelations after revelations. Moulding after discipleship. It's just been great!

Just ended my call with Samantha, and shared with her some stuffs. I literally felt another burden being laid off as I explained to Samantha about my life for the past year, both good and bad in those brief 10 minutes. And it felt longer than that, trust me ;)

I think we tend to fear sharing with our leaders, and often associate it with disappointment or discipleship, unless it's about breakthroughs or revelations. Even I used to think so too, until I was suffocating under my own pressure, believing I was self sufficient enough and full of pride. It's just God and me, the unbeatables.

Until I sunk into darkness. I starting collecting little dust around me called sin. At first, it was just easy to blow them off. But when you don't do that often, they accumulate and start to stick to you. It just keeps adding up, because eventually you sin to hide the sin! Eventually it covers up you entirely, you no longer recognize who you are yourself. It seemed so hard. You stop hearing from God entirely. You feel alone and desperate for attention and love. It seems you never win the war.

Being in that situation, and seeing it from that perspective myself, I finally understood what discipleship was. Not just a second hand revelation, not just a surface understanding. Beyond the initial negative emotions after discipleships, and the need to correct myself, I was moved by my leaders' love.

They were always my teammates from the start. The more experienced ones, that never fail to guide us back on track, if we let them to. I feel so fortunate that I can hold myself accountable to them. They keep me on track, and tell me what's wrong, straight on. Nothing about insecurity issues, because I know they know the best for me.

The mustard seed has finally start to germinate! Haha.

,Darren

2008-05-27T00:12:00.002+08:00

Haha. I finally had some time to sit down at my computer and just chill out with music last Saturday night. I realised that I haven't really got to listen to my library of music for such a long time. It was just so sweet. Felt the blood pumping back into my veins, and alive! Music is linked to me writing. No music = hard to write.

--

RedRain last week was simply AWESOME! It was such a leap of standard from last years. And I suppose all these goes out to our Ops side people.

Was just chatting with Sylvia and Boxue, and we agreed that, Ops really supports the church and the pastoral side. We strive to build the platform for Pastor's to preach the Word effectively. Haha. It's really such a privilege to be in the Ops. And seeing Sooyee lead her many ministries is just so inspiring. She's really someone I want to emulate and a heart I want to replicate after.

Post Production for the past month, was just week after week of work. It really felt like a stretching season for me in my ministry. Even though I may not be the best producer in Post Pro now, I'm really driven to be a huge plus to the ministry, and to Sooyee. Alton and FX has just been awesome, helping me out with almost everything in anything for Post Pro even though I'm not exactly the new crew. I don't feel awkward or pressured to grow, but encouraged by them. I think they would love to know I cheer for them, for every awesome video they do! There will be still many areas for me to grind and work on. Endless grinding, moulding. I'm just beginning.

--

By God's grace, and the hard prayers of our CG, Tricia came for RedRain!! And it's really by God's grace, because she doesnt even like rock and such. She's really more of a fine arts person. I really pray that she gets to know the girls better in our CG. Haha.

That's all for now. My mind is egging me to reply to BX's convo box. Haha

Faith!

2008-04-13T03:33:00.002+08:00

First of all, this very letter just showed me how God is so amazing.
A guy like me. with lesser drawing skills, with lesser academic grades being able to even secure a place here, is all a work of God.

For this reason alone, it makes me stand in awe of God even more, and more encouraged in my walk with Jesus.

Praise God!

--

My aunt just came by to discuss about the school fees. And I guessed I really messed up in some of my answers. I didn't blew up in a rage or what, but I just couldn't explain my priorities to them, without jeopardizing church and Pastor.

I'm a little lost in the fray, but I know I can trust God for this to turn out right. It has happened before.

I keep hearing Pastor Lia's word in my head..

Habakkuk 2:2-4

"And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith."

I don't know how long it will take, but it will, and I will make this come to pass!

I will graduate from Lasalle, and be an outstanding producer of films and media that will impact lives.

2008-04-08T02:44:00.003+08:00

Gahh!

Morning madness for me and Boxue. Currently re-modding my computer. And this is the final product. Haha. Love the way I can Photoshop stuff around and phish! It comes out like this. Haha

This post is random and short by the way.

2008-04-05T01:13:00.001+08:00

Wow, this video is just so awesome. FX showed it to me while we were in Ops Room. And I just kept watching it, and watching it. This is the kind of movies I want to make in future. Now, it's just so tangible, so there. It just seems to affirm me that the destination is just possible. Haha. Wow.

--

I actually decided to sleep after my shower at 4, but in the midst of all that, I started thinking about our CG, and how we're just so ready to breakthrough.

I was reading Ivan's blog, and was just so impacted by what he shared.

"when pressure comes, i thrive on it and many of you guys do too.

this is why jomain and nadine and jianming are who they are.
more pressure more output. failure doesn't kill them. it just spurs them on like crazy."

I really want to be one that gives more output during more pressure. I loved how this week was more packed than usual. I love seeing how difficult situations creep in on my life, yet someway eventually, I am able to pull through with God's strength alone.

I'm getting addicted being the damsel in distress to be honest. Hmm..that that'd be quite wrong. The guy in distress. Haha. Just giving God my best, and watching Him pave the way ahead is exciting itself.

I hope you understand what I mean. The euphoria of conquering problems you know you couldn't have done so alone.

Haha. Life is amazing!

2008-03-30T01:04:00.002+08:00

Haha. It seems hard to keep on a regular time to blog now. I love blogging. It gives me a sense of reflection that comes out in a solid form, that's just different from any other. And also joy from just expressing myself in words.

Had an awesome meeting with Ivan and the regulars in the morning. Ivan was just getting around to know more about the people in the meeting, and we just had some fun there listening to each other, and knowing more about each other. It so much closer than CG. I don't know why. Haha. And CG is already very good. Haha.

Then Ivan just went deep with us about the heart of Inte and Ev. and it just brought me back to the basics again. I remember hearing this when I was just a regular then, but this time it just felt like a whole different thing. In the end, it boils back down to your heart. Love. Simply love. It's just as simple as that.

Love God, love life, love people.

--

Had lunch with CG later at Subway. Talked to Terence, and realised some things I didn't know about him. Haha. And Nelson was there cracking everyone up with his lame jokes. It just feels home. And Mel and Zhiyi made it down for service! It's just awesome man.

Service was great. I could just hear Zhiyi worshipping over the first worship song. Everyone was just so absorbed in the presence..and it was just so sweet.

Then we had our dinner, and just chit chatted with Mel and Ting Wei. It just felt back like the old times, except this was so much better. I'll gladly trade any BASC day for today man. Haha.

We went home after watching them play Quelf for awhile. Found out Mel was quite freaked out by us speaking in tongues! Haha. Was quite amusing, cause I remembered I was quite freaked out the first time I was in service too. But if she goes for follow-up, I'm sure she's know so much more to speaking in tongues than it seems (To her, its just chikamama).

Haha. Life now is just awesome

I love my life! =)

2008-03-21T04:23:00.002+08:00

Where else do you want to be this Easter?

Definitely at Heart Of God Church! =)

2008-03-07T03:46:00.005+08:00

I realized that my recent post has an utter lack of photos! As they always say, a picture paints a thousand words. So here is one =)

Class 2N2 of 2004

Was just looking through my computer for photos for the "secret project". And I found my old class photos.

Boy, how it brings back memories..haha. How we use to do silly things. How I was dropped to Normal Academic. It was the year I became close friends with Kenneth again since Primary school, and how we'd end up in the same class for consecutive years onwards. How many times we fought, I've lost count. It'd be unimaginable back then that we'd become radical Christians that love God above all else.

How we'd all rush down to the LAN shops right after school to play. Competing with Kenneth and Lester for top position in Science. How we add funny dialogues to our Chinese textbooks (Too bad I threw them away, or I'll take a shot for you guys haha). They've all faded into nothingness, just an imprint on the mind.

Reflected on what Ivan shared with us. It's a whole different ball game right now. We've reached the crossroads we dreamt of so much when we were younger. You can no longer walk away from your problems and just let others decide for you.

Every decision counts and matters on a scale that's so easily influenced by our little actions.

Premade decisions.

Does make you think alot huh? Haha.

I'm excited about this life. I'm excited about my future. And I love my life. I'll never trade it for any other.

The future is amazing =)

2008-02-26T00:25:00.005+08:00

Haha. Oh man. Been ages since I've blogged! Haha.

Recently I've been reading this book called Faith by Pastor Phil Pringle.
And man, this book is awesome!

I never ceased to get amazed by what God shows me about faith. It's like, there's NEVER enough! Haha. And I think I also need a constant reminder to have faith too. Haha.

Faith is daring to step on the pedal, without your hands on the steering wheel.
Imagine how scary that would be! In the middle of CTE expressway, you are just stepping on the pedal without steering the wheel!

But it is the only way God can direct us! We just need that step of faith to STEP ON THE PEDAL and get moving!

I realise that recently I am just sitting in the car and waiting for God to tell me a destination before I start stepping on my pedal. But how can God steer the car when it's not even moving! Haha.

I will have more faith! And I'm going to dedicate myself to reading a chapter of a book in the Bible! Haha.

Yesterday's dinner will never be enough for today's hunger.
Yesterday's faith will never be enough for today's needs.

The future is amazing!

2008-01-28T15:33:00.000+08:00

I'm excited.
This year will be amazing. For many of you, you've past the transitioning of secondary school to tertiary level.

I wonder where God will place me.
I excited, nervous, and afraid.

Mm..and all the talks about money. I wonder where the money will come from too. Will I have to start working at the same time as studying? Right now all these money talks in the house is really irritating me. My gramps told me she might loan from my aunt and I'll have to pay back her when I'm older and all that. Not that I mind paying it back, but it just adds so much unnecessary stress to me.

I just don't like the way an adult thinks. So cynical, so little of hope. Always preparing for the worst (not that it's bad) overly.

These entire month has been an extraodinary month.
Thank God my job aps didnt get through, if not I would have missed out on alot of outings, camp, fellowship.

2008-01-25T12:53:00.000+08:00

He Never Sleeps - Don Moen

When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray.
Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer is on it's way.

Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.

And He never sleeps, He never slumbers.
He never tires of hearing our prayer.
When we are weak He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him.

Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your need.
Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see.

Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.

--

I just love this song..and it speaks right into my heart.

My L1R4 is 27, but I'm really secured. I know God has a destination planned for me, even though I can't really see it right now.

Yes, I am sad. But it does not overwhelm me. Haha.

This will never ever pull me down, devil. Mark this day.

2008-01-23T01:45:00.000+08:00

~MR MeSsY~ says (1:26 AM):
building fund !
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:26 AM):
300 bucks !
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:26 AM):
anw i'm joining USHER !

~MR MeSsY~ says (1:27 AM):
darren i really feel GOD every day!
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:27 AM):
I'm really like falling more n more deeply in love wif GOD !

~MR MeSsY~ says (1:28 AM):
i'm not longer emo in CG !
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:28 AM):
i abandoned the OLD EMO KENNETH !

~MR MeSsY~ says (1:29 AM):
I noe my role in my CG !
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:29 AM):
I'm helping new friends
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:29 AM):
n i am setting up a bball team for my zone !

~MR MeSsY~ says (1:31 AM):
even though i couldn't manage to lead lost souls to christ right now
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:31 AM):
but i'm sure
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:31 AM):
i'm sure 1 day
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:31 AM):
i will do so

~MR MeSsY~ says (1:42 AM):
darren believe me !
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:42 AM):
i never regretted stepping into christ
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:43 AM):
even though there r rough times !
~MR MeSsY~ says (1:43 AM):
GOD IS ALWAYS WIF ME !

This what what makes my day.
I never actually thought I'd hear these words.
But He proved me wrong (he too).

It took him almost 1 year for the seed to grow. But at the end of it, he came out even better than ever before.

We will run with the vision.

2008-01-19T03:37:00.000+08:00

Hi wonderful people.

This is 3 a.m. at the Operations Room of HoGC, and the lights have finally started to dim slightly (for the benefit of Weiliang & Zi Ang)

With me in the room is Aaron Lee, preparing for slumber right after buying food back for us.
Shan Yong fiddling with the printer machine to print some unknown but certainly important documents.
Kinon, who is also preparing for slumber right after his sumptous supper.

Esmonde has been missing ever since supper and has not returned to the Ops Room. Things got pretty crazy just now as shoes were flying (Esmonde), while Melvin tried to examine his leg hair on the Mac table.

I am currently still rendering my video. It's going to be great. I will finish it and have a wonderful beauty sleep, more than enough to prepare me for Ignite tomorow! Hahaha! I'm hungry and I haven't eat supper if you

2008-01-09T15:07:00.001+08:00

Lalala!

New blogskin! This feels so good. More photos please =)

2008-01-08T11:35:00.000+08:00

I was just walking back home from some market errand. And after a phonecall from my gramps, I had a sudden revelation.

Others can, I cannot.

This was a very situation of Others can, I cannot.

Others can compromise, give in to stress, and work (skipping church in the process).
I cannot. On a funny note, when I realised I was given 5 dollars only today, something came to my mind. GST increase! Maybe that can be a good reason to ask to reinstate back my previous value of pocketmoney. Hahaa!

Others can work in any jobs, flexible or not, and earn big cash. They are regarded as normal people.
I cannot. No matter how many other people ridicule me (family or not), or put me down, I still cannot.

Some of you may ask, "Hey, what if your grandmother throws you out of your house, or just really stop giving you money?"

Haha. Sure, I'll really dread that day when it comes. But I believe that the odds of that happening is little, because God will surely be there for me to provide for me. Upon that same statement, I can also tell you in the case that such things do happen, I can still trust in Him to make a way out for me.

The future is amazing.
This generation will be different.

2008-01-04T14:40:00.000+08:00

Rocking The World To Life

Cookie Monster Is Slain!

Yesterday was truly another day of life. Haha. Tiring but at the end of the day, it's totally worth it.

*Notes: We need to include Terence in more photoshots. Haha.

God bless

2008-01-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

As 2007 comes to an end, I am amazed by the visible changes God has set in my life.

07' has been a long and arduous journey. A year long of molding. I feel like a caterpillar, just metamorphosed into a cocoon.

This year has truly accelerated. I would have never thought that I would be where I am today, a year ago. And it's just so tangible, so real. It is not just a feeling.

My dreams. I used to have dreams of my family and friends being bullied. And I could only stand there, and shake with fear. I manage shouts, and try to pry them from the bully's grasp. I could not help them at all, because my punches and kicks all felt so weak, and did not affect them at all. These happened throughout my entire secondary school life.

Since the past few months, these dreams have re-occurred. But strangely, this time I felt like Superman. And not just that my punches had a visible effect on them. This time, I was not hesistant to throw punches at them. I was just so passionately angry at how they could bully my family and friends, and I really gave everything I had to defend them.

And then Pastor's sermon on Father's Heart came during VBS.

It is just so exciting.

--

Not ready yet

Done! Appetizing?

We baked 252 cookies for our juniors at Saint Andrews!

Hearts Award last night made me think so hard. Just because of that hesitant moment, I nearly lost the revival for SA. And only after 6 months did the revival began again.

But no matter what, I believe there's a reason why God allowed me to only come in and work for the revival after so long, and it has got to do with my molding.

This time, we are ready to take our school. I will not be hesitant, and let the Devil take over. We will make this fire bigger than ever before, and make the Devil regret that he tried stumbling me, and slowing down the revival in SA.

You know you're crazy when you think, speak and pray on something repetitively at every moment.

Call us crazy but at least we're crazy for something.
Call us naive and silly, but at least we're idealistic and we dare to dream.
Call us outrageous, but we have a mission that we can pledge our lives to.

We are the Servant Kings.

Do you have what it takes?

2007-12-31T00:06:00.000+08:00

*I have retyped this entry for like almost 7 times, with each retry getting shorter and shorter. (Note to self)

God is so wise, I can't understand his plans. That was an unnecessary statement because its too obvious, but I still have to say that =)

Tonight was a draining night for me. I was beaten down physically and emotionally to pulp. It felt terrible, scary and weird. The kind of feelings I would imagine, when a Dementor comes near me, and tries to suck my essence out. Till I scream for my life, and cry and beg for release.

It was His love that held me still, and poured out strength to me, and kept me from falling to where the Devil had set that trap for me.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world" - Thank you Shermaine for sharing with me that verse when I most needed it.

I will know in time, why God allowed this to happened. And I'm sure after I know why, it will only make me praise Him more. He has never ceased to amaze me.

He is the definition of beautiful.
And He is my Saviour.

Onwards to the next level!

*Changed the song at Serenades

2007-12-25T19:52:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas =)

Thankyou Samantha, Chew, Fe, Naomi, Hannah, Kelitha for the Christmas cards =)
And Shawn for your wonderful korean Adiddas cap haha.
And Nicholas for your awesome Toblerone bar haha.
And Pastor's for building a home where we could spend Christmas Eve with our spiritual family.
And last but not the least, Jesus Christ, for coming down to Earth for us =)

Wow. Christmas Eve is so special this year. To be able to grasp the reason why we are having this holiday. Love explains it all.

Was trying to google up the Team Haques (The dad-son tri-athlon team), but saw this saying on a blog instead. It was still meaningful haha.

"Once an unhappy young man came to an old master and told he was very sad and asked for a solution.

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. “How does it taste?” the Master asked. “Awful,” spat the apprentice. The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?” “Good!” remarked the apprentice. “Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master. “No,” said the young man. The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said,

“The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things ….. Stop being a glass. Become a lake."

Expand and enlarge. Stop small mindedness, and all negativity goes away.

Haha. I loved Sat's sermon.

Unconditional love.
It will be God's benchmark, not mine.
Hard to live up to, but I will try.

God bless =)

2007-12-17T04:09:00.000+08:00

Currently Playing: Because You Live - Jesse McCartney

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice calls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere, I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know

[Chorus]
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, ~~girl~~ Jesus
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cause of you, made it though every storm
What is life, whats the use if your killed inside
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone, Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

--

Jesse McCartney is one of my favourite singers. =). Was just browsing through my music library, and chanced upon this song. And it turned out to be a fine example of how a secular song is just like a praise/worship song for God.

Basically I just love this song, and want to share it with you guys! Haha. Even though it's pretty old already.

--

Wow, VBS week was really amazing. There was so much to be learnt, and we even had a special lesson prepared on a Friday evening. Haha. I'm really impacted by the new thoughts and revelations for the sermons that I have heard before. It just seemed so different from the first time, like applying to another area of my life. Haha.

Martin Luther King is simply amazing. I just happened to read his biography just before the last VBS session, and it really struck a chord in my heart. He dared to dream, and he never slowed or stepped back once he got started.

This is what I see myself to be. It's no longer bothering about the small things, but just going right through for my dreams, my visions!

We will raise a generation of youth that will serve God with their best years of their lives, that reveres God, yet still intimate with Him. Youths that are empowered not by worldly incentives, but are willing to die to themselves, and be empowered by God!

The culture will never falter, we're going to keep it strong!

God will be my driver =)

2007-12-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

The past week has been quite a dread.

1) Like from the devil, my grandmother never failed to stop throwing degrading/disheartening remarks to me for the entire 7 days. Not just that, but she made quite a ruckus calling up Aunt Laura, and Mum. I have no memories of that happening ever before. Things got that bad where I nearly broke down again, and wanted to go berserk and start lashing out any word I could think of. But I managed to stop myself, and went to the highest level on my flat , to just peace out, and look at the scenery. And God was just there comforting me. Worship there was really awesome!

2) I'm really upset about Mum breaking her promise to quit smoking. And the new excuses she gives this time. I nearly broke down and cried in the room the other night when I confronted her there. I'm like giving her a kind of cold shoulder now, to show how serious I am towards her smoking. How much less of a financial dire she would be in w/o the sticks.

3) Gramp's continuous nagging of jobs. She managed to irritate Mum so much that she has also become like her when we talk about jobs. I'm never going to work for my Aunt, because working there means I have to sacrifice church. Mum even commented, "Some things in life, you just have sacrifice". I'm really glad I made it firm to her, telling her straight that never in my life will I sacrifice church. And no matter what she says, I know God will provide me with a job thats never going to make me compromise the time for Him, because I am that hungry for Him.

All in all, these events have went according to His will, because it only served to move me closer to God.

At the highest level that night, I pondered whether I would jump if I was not a Christian. And that would be a resounding yes. And how many of you know God saves the day? I'm just amazed and touched by His love.

There's more than enough reasons to say why I live for you.

God bless!

2007-11-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

What's playing: All The Earth - Parachute Band

Haha. It would be such joy to worship with your friends, and to hear the countless voices giving glory to Him.

Something awesome to share with you guys!
PRIS & VINSON & NIGEL IS COMING FOR BBQ!

Haha!! Awesome right!! I just feel so happy. And I pray for no backouts.
It's just amazing how God has really opened the door for us. I hardly kept in contact with Vinson ever since I left tuition. Pris is always busy to chat on MSN. And I just got to know Nigel during Mid O' levels. Somehow, God managed to persuade them to come haha.

I know that it will take constant prayer to get them saved, not just this one off event. =).

--

And I just finished talked to Lester on the phone. We were just sharing revelations and all that haha. Just felt so encourage and motivated cause I really felt he grew to a new level. And he shared with me a great revelation from Matthew 20:1–15.

"For the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. 2 After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. 3 And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the market place; 4 and to them he said, `You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give you.' So they went.

5 Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same. 6 And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing; and he said to them, `Why do you stand here idle all day?' 7 They said to him, `Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, `You go into the vineyard too.' 8 And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his steward, `Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.'

9 And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius. 10 Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius. 11 And on receiving it they grumbled at the householder, 12 saying, `These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.'

13 But he replied to one of them, `Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for a denarius? 14 Take what belongs to you, and go; I choose to give to this last as I give to you. 15 Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?'"

He was just sharing with me his fears of rising up, and how he worries when he sees others who have come for a short time, yet rose up as quickly. But Jiayang shared this verse with him, and how he had a revelation that, we should learn to be satisfied and not complain, and that we may be in church for a long time, but we will still recieve the same blessings God has given us. Which means we all have an equal chance to rise up in due time.

Of course, we must also build our walk with God, and be strong in it first, to be able to lead others in the same way. Haha.

Just awesome to have a growing schoolmate taking the school with me! Lester and me will be going down to pray for our school tomorow morning! Haha

The future is amazing!
God bless!

2007-11-26T01:12:00.000+08:00

2007-11-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

Back from Zone Camp! Photos! Taken from Bell's blog

Was sorted into teams. And we started to name and design our team flag!

Flag done! Design was mainly done by Jon! It's a pun thought by Ee Loo! Haha. HeRose! If you don't get it read the book of Mark x)

Gong Hua, Pan, Jonathan, Ee Loo, Siok Mei, Bell, Alvin (and Wei Chao who kept being transfered haha) were in that team. It turned out quite well, and we were actually quite bonded and team spirited. Our team cheer was seriously so hilarious when we sang it out. "You sure you don't know...actually we know"

From there we had several games like Scavenger Hunt, Ministry Tryouts and we basically just fellowshipped together, ate together and all that. It was really awesome and I got to know Jon, Ee Loo, Pan and Alvin alot better. The rest was really new friends haha.

We had Parachute Band, and it was really aweomse. Really liked Surrender. Then we had..supper!

Prata, Milo Dinos were the assemble for our roaring hunger that night. Things changed, when everyone found out about Xiao Qiang residing in the Prata House x)

On the last night, we had a Revival Night service with Charleston, and it really just pushed us up another level of faith. Others can, I cannot. And Ivan prayed over me. And I know, things will change after my generation =)

And we kind of ran through the night without sleep, celebrating Charleston, Ivan and Yassy's birthday, and just looking around to see people getting squirt toothpaste while asleep! Haha.

By the way, HeRose came in first for the camp! Awesomee!! We had a pinata as a prize. Haha. We really pushed hard!!

Youth camp this year is really awesome. Wee Kiat and Joel, can just see how much they grew. Excited! We will grow B4!

God bless =)

2007-11-20T20:49:00.000+08:00

Was scrawling about in deviantART and as usual, was drooling over the waterscape pictures and scenery shots.

Found a picture I really liked..cause it showed the tranquility of the moment..and how peaceful and serene the scene was. So after half an hour of Photoshop + reference from the online bible (hees, because i remembered some verse about God being the rock, yet don't remember the book), the new blogpic is born!

I really liked the outcome, and how the song verse of one of my favourite worship songs and the bible verse really fitted into the picture.

The stone, is in reference to the 9 stones in our church! Haha.

God bless =)

2007-11-17T01:19:00.000+08:00

Grad Night, a night to remember.
Photos taken by Ken's camera. Sadly, it wasnt of good quality.

Ken, Jimmy Koh, Me, Dennis Ong, OM
Us and the DMs. We will remember your discipline talks and the sound of rotan smacking on the butts of wrong doers every assembly.

Ken, Jennifer Yew, Me
Us and our Sec 2 Sci Teacher. We will remember how you revolutionized mind maps, and how we strived so hard to ace your subject during Sec 2 (only to fail it terribly in the coming years), and the loving way you taught the class in, despite the high pitched noisy chatters from little midgets.

That's all the photos for now. More comng from Jian Wen and Ziyi's better cameras =)

2007-11-15T00:26:00.001+08:00

Mocca Advert Spoof by Alton.

Let's sign up for Zone Camp!! X)

2007-11-14T00:54:00.001+08:00

I lost a brother in Christ.

He spoke to me immediately after I went online at 12+, and asked me to play dota with him (as usual like the past two weeks). I was planning to talk to any new friends or even other friends that was online, so I told him I have stuff to do first.

Not unexpectedly, he replied in a demanding tone that I told him I'll play with him today. Wanting to say this a long time, I finally told him in a cheeky manner that if he has so much free time now, why dont he go QT first (worship).

He thought I was joking and said "very funny". So I told him I was very much serious, and that if he think I was joking then so be it. Surprisely (or not), he said "You have issues man". At that point of time, it dawned to me that he was really much unchanged despite the time I had spent with him the past two weeks, and no matter how much I shared how he should value Christ more.

I was really impacted at how a christian can comment about wanting to do QT as "having issues". So I told him straight in the face, that he's not really spending alot of time on God anyway, as what he told me the past two weeks really solidified that.

He defended himself by saying how could I judge him, and how would I know whether he does or doesnt. I was really upset now because I know how he was going to defend himself and be small minded in the argument. So I told him that I do not wish to argue any further, and that if he thinks I'm judging him, so be it. If he thinks what I said about him worshipping God is wrong, then he can just treat it as I'm wrong.

I just knew inside that, it was really a lost cause. Not that I have given up on him, but he has on himself. We have talked about this issue many times before, and thats how he defends himself. I have just decided to stop wasting my time and energy on him.

And he just went on to dissapoint me even more, by asking if I was trying to play the good guy. It never crossed my mind how he could have said that (unless he was that desperate and self righteous). Pride has never left this man's heart, and his heart has really grown so hard and bitter to the point he can just defend himself outright even when he was wrong. He was small minded.

That's not the worse part. He goes on to question how "godly" I am when I'm arguing with my grandmother (when he fully knows what was going on and how my grandmother was really in the wrong. And at the end, I still did what my grandmother wanted me to do willingly). He asked whether that was what my church taught me (why would any disciple of Christ say that, and in that tone?). Goes on to mock me for being acting "holy" basically and asks if I even worship God. Tells me to stop being fake and stop going back to school to give out things (Outreach for lower secondary). Finishes by telling me how irresponsible I am and how I don't honor my words (about the Dota game), and how I should stay overnight in church instead.

To hear such from a Christian is shocking indeed.
--

Let's not fail to defend and stand up for what you believe in, for the fear of being called a "holy" or "fake".

1 Peter 2:21 "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps."

We are called to stand up for what we believe in, regardless of what we have to go through for doing so. Regardless of what the one who persecuted you said, all you can do is pray that their heart will be softened to God's love, to see how true and great it is to strive to live a life that honors God.

Let's also really break the small mindedness we may have, and look beyond our own suffering. Jesus did not lament at how much suffering God has put him through, even till his very last breath. Instead he thanked God, and was focused on what ailed the people around him instead. How are we expected to do things for others if we are only concerned about how much dicredit and inconvinience the thing is causing us?

All in all, I can only pray for Benjamin. I have truly done all I can for him, sadly. If he really wants to live a happier life, one that is in God's favour, it is all depending on him now.

Let's continue breaking down our strongholds!
God bless!

2007-11-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

I just felt so much of God's presence as I watched the video on Youtube. And I can just relate to the lyrics.

My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

I never thought about the day where I would speak to people in a way to encourage them about how their christian walk should be, or even telling them what they are doing might be wrong. I was afraid on one note, that I did not have the authority to do so. Secondly I also feared whether I would be saying the right thing, and how I always told myself (the leaders would do it).

Now, I just readily tell people when they really cross the border. Of course, only after I see them repeating the same mistakes over and over. I worry whether what they are doing might stumble other christians, and therefore, those christian's life are more at stake and precious than what the person's feeling is.

I'm not saying that it is unimportant, I'm just stating how the other is more important. I'm sure if the person is truely a disciple of Christ, he/she would readily accept it too, and feel guilty should they realise later how their actions stumbled their fellow brothers and sisters.

Secondly, why not me? I thought. We are all equally responsible for how our brothers and sisters in Christ are living their life in a way, because we are called to speak life and exalt one another. If pushing them to live a more richer life in Christ is not that, I can't think of what else is. We should not simply brush it away thinking they will change in time. Of course they will, that is after they know what they are doing is wrong.

This is why I felt so connected to that lyric. Speaking words I never thought I'd say.

We must really rise up (especially in our CG) and really act like leaders. Let's breakthrough to new levels!

God bless

2007-11-11T02:51:00.001+08:00

This is the start of my wonderful new blog.

For starters, I apologise if you are not listed as a linkee in this blog, as I only link mostly good reads for christian walks. Do drop my a tag if you wish to be linked from my blog. though there are no garantees unless its really encouraging material to read.

The main purpose of this blog is just to post my revelations with God, and to really encourage any christians who bump by this blog to be encouraged and lifted up to continue their walk, or even to spur them on to do something great to glorify Jesus!

That's all for now. =)